WIP First Draft Extract 02/09/2017: Character Introduction

Claire wasn’t what her parents expected her to be, in fact there were many times they considered the possibility they brought home the wrong child. If it wasn’t for her father’s murky green eyes and her mother’s sharp nose they’d have been certain of it. Where they saw a man’s face, Claire saw his soul. There was something about the world that equal parts fascinated and horrified her, and within that ever expanding world was James.

Before James met Claire he was certain of his future. He would graduate, return to Edinburgh to work for his father, marry someone just so, have children and watch them follow in his footsteps. All of this would be followed by the inevitable end that greets all of the earth’s children. It didn’t scare him then that his life was to be no more than mediocre, but after he met Claire, it terrified him that he might not discover her.


Even I’m not entirely sure what this is or will be, I just felt the need to write and this is what found me. I plan on going with the flow with this one, so stay tuned for more of Claire and James. To be continued

– Beth. 

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Until You are Satisfied

 

This sadness is a sickness

Gnawing at my reason

I can’t hear my own voice

So I climb into your open mouth

Looking for a stage from which to scream

Hoping for an answer to my questions

Your tongue drags me deeper

There I whisper to you my secrets

But my words you cannot hear

You swallow me whole

You didn’t realise your mouth was full

I float through your gurgling stomach

Alone feeling sicker and sicker

You can’t feel me even though I’m right there

I do all I can to keep you alive

Working the cogs and gears that move you

But you never notice my efforts

You don’t see that I am down here drowning

You drain me without thought

Until you are satisfied.

What Happens on the Ground

‘Falling’, he said, ‘we’re falling’

What a thing to say

Where from? How far?

But a tight nod sufficed

in response over words

‘You must see it too’

Not really, or do I?

Were we ever not falling

To where, despair?

I did not know

Again a nod with a small frown

Uncertain but wanting to hear

what he had to say

This fall of ours, where to?

Was it a dream fall?

The feeling of weightlessness

or a nightmare fall?

Clarity of the ground beneath

knowing it’s only a matter of time

We were falling, had been

but now, I thought not

Maybe he’s lagging,

there’s a glitch in time

‘It’s only a matter of time,’ he said

Time before what

‘Before we hit the ground’

That doesn’t sound pleasant

I don’t like mud

perhaps it’ll be concrete

I don’t like pain either

maybe flowers

Nor bugs

Maybe it’ll just be with a toe

then we’ll bounce back

if there is a back

Something will be there

or we’ll be stuck on the ground

Together, apart, falling

What a thing to say

we’re falling

We can’t fall

I don’t know what happens on the ground.

The Trouble with Being Human

Born into a bloodline with closed eyes

Hope and fear is turned into love when they open

You hold onto a parent’s hand with trust knowing that you can never fall

Their grasp keeps you smiling throughout those blind years with joy

Seen as naivety to the old who are quick to lose their hopeless love and joyless trust

They tell you that your childish reality was nothing but a dream

Your eyes open wide as the world expands to more than blood

Hands reach out to you offering you more, your hope and fear turn into love when you take them

You hold onto all that you can with trust locking away the fear that they might let you go

Stumbling every now and again is part of our design

Beware that some will use the marks left behind to loosen your hold

Their petty nooses will fall short of hanging you, drawing and quartering you

Language learnt from when eyes open, those innocent beginnings flow into dangerous waters

With turning tides that can be twisted and misheard, misplaced or misconstrued

Your words might betray you, whilst others use them to severe your grip

Fingers unclasp and hands fall away with only fear left to hold onto

Forgiveness can be found with that blind hopeless love found in your blood

Severed ties can be renewed with hope and joy once again

Let others be bitter whilst you run to your next adventure holding on tight

For your mind and your heart never stop growing, and that is the trouble with being human

 

Look at Me Now

Far too often I overlook

myself

the day

the people around,

Of all the important things

I overlook change the most,

but time, sometimes

presents us with opportunities

to look

to live

to feel,

I am no longer the girl

the one you knew

no

I am me

someone older,

but new,

with eyes wide

heart open

and a mind so changed

with a desire to learn

to see more

learn more

feel more,

Look at me now

the woman of my own making

with a hand from those I love

the ones who are there

whenever

whatever

forever,

I will not overlook

today is my chance

to create a greater tomorrow

a bigger smile

a fuller heart,

just look at me now world

who would have thought this is where I would be?